The public reaction to his cancer diagnosis has, Jeremy Clarkson confesses, l ed him to a realisation. Explaining that, for most of his 66 years, he has relished the role of contrarian and troublemaker, Jeremy admits that he was surprised and delighted to learn that he is considered – at least by some – to be a national treasure.

“Here’s what I found strange,” he writes in The Sunday Times, "I liked it. Being seen as a nice person rather than a troublemaker was just so… relaxing. I didn’t have to wake up every morning wondering if the Mirror had run some terrible story about me.”

As a result, Jeremy says he has been wondering if he should make the effort to become a kinder, more tolerant person.

“And that,” he says, “brings me on to Chris Packham.” Explaining that the Springwatch presenter and environmental campaigner had criticised the opening credits of Clarkson’s Farm, saying they were “in no way representative of modern-day agricultural practices”

Jeremy admits that he let his anger get the better of him. “I was very incensed by this and immediately wrote in The Sun that he was talking b******s. But in the new age of tolerance and respect, I shouldn’t have done that. I should have kept schtum.”

Citing Gary Lineker as another example of the new, more thoughtful and diplomatic kind of person he'd like to become, Jeremy outlined some of the changes in his behaviour he'd have to make, including calling people and places by their own preferred names.

“So,” he joked, “when I next go to Berlin, I must say that I’m going to ‘Germany or Deutschland,’ and when I next visit the Uffizi, I must say I’m visiting ‘Florence or Firenze’, having crossed the English Channel, or La Manche, and used the motorway or autoroute.

“Sounds like being Gary could well be very time consuming,” he added.

Admitting that he simply didn’t have the patience to be as saintly as Gary, Jeremy said being more considerate would simply be too “exhausting” for him: “If I don’t want to cause offence to anyone, ever, I must consider the food I eat, the shoes I wear, the holidays I take, the newspapers I read, the expressions I use, the political views I hold, the friends I keep, the car I drive, the actors I admire and the views I may or may not hold on Gaza and Hamas.”

He would also, he says, be forced to take a more understanding view of the amateur pilots who interrupt filming of Clarkson’s Farm with the noise of their light aircraft.

And that, he admits, would require a measure of patience that’s simply beyond him: “I was out there last week, in the sunshine, and we were having to stop all the time and I was consumed with a need to find out where the pilots lived so that I could go round to their houses that night and set fire to them.

“Yes, I’d lose my national treasure status,” he adds, “but at least I could get some work done.”